Ready to Drop - Pictures from the last 7 weeks

Yes, it's been a long time since either Carin or I have blogged. We've just been a little crazy. Carin was busy finishing up work, and I've been trying to juggle writing, teaching, and husbandry. We've also been preparing for OLG's arrival. Prepping his nursery, prepping our own room, prepping our lives, etc. At some point, we'll try to post some before/after nursery pics. Carin is futzing around in there as I type. All this preparation has been tiring, wonderful, and all consuming...and he's not even here yet.

There's been much I've wanted to write about that I can't even get to today (my office and script beckon), but I did want--at the very least--to post some pictures from these last 7 weeks. Sorry they've been so long coming.

The shot above was from this Thursday: Carin's birthday. We went out to what may be our last fancy, romantic dinner for a little while at Rive Gauche in Sherman Oaks. (To my brother: we both ordered duck in Chambord sauce, I also enjoyed the crab stuffed mushrooms in Hollandaise sauce, apologies for no food pics).

Now, we'll go back a few weeks and work our way forward.

The shot below is Carin on Valentines Day, 34 weeks 2 days pregnant:

Now at 35 weeks, 5 days (with cat):

As for Scottie, we have successfully kicked her out of her favorite place in the world--our bedroom--in anticipation of OLG's arrival. OLG is going to sleep with us for the first few months, and we don't trust Scottie in the same room as him while he's sleeping (at least not until he has the power to lift his own head up).

So we've kicked her out. It was painful at first because she likes to sleep in our bed, and there was some late night meowing for a little while. But we figure it's better now than when we ALSO have a crying baby to contend with. Scottie has mostly gotten used to the arrangement, but we still occasionally hear her meowing to come in (like this morning).

Her new hangout is the couch:

We've tried to get her to use the comfy cat bed we got for her, and she does sleep in it sometimes. This took a while, however. At first, it seemed she didn't know quite how to use the darn thing (see below):

Carin at 36 weeks, 5 days:

It's raining as I type this, but the weather has been beautiful lately. We've been enjoying everything blooming at our house.

and speaking of citrus...

After 15 months in our new house, we finally bought a citrus juicer! It produced the best OJ we've ever tasted. Liquid gold! Come over, and we'll make you some.

This is Carin at 37 weeks, 3 days, looking very belly-tastic.

...and now we're back to this week. This is my wife again on her birthday, standing in front of our beautiful snapdragons, 38 weeks and 5 days pregnant.

We are now 39 weeks and 1 day in. Baby is definitely riding lower than a couple weeks ago, and Carin has had what she believes are Braxton Hicks contractions (prelude to the real thing, these can start weeks prior to delivery). She's pretty uncomfortable these days, but also very excited. We both are. We are in the "any day now" zone.

Stay tuned...

Conflict of Interests

Back when our tree became an art installation, we finally caved and decided that we should pay to get it cut back professionally. After asking around and looking on Angie's list, in the end we gave the job to our gardener. He's nice, he's competent, he was the lowest bidder. Done. It occurred to me a few days after our tree was denuded that maybe this presented a bit of a conflict of interest. The guy who we paid to blow away the fallen leaves was now put in charge of cutting off limbs and branches from said tree. So maaaaybe he took off more branches than someone else would have? Should he have recused himself from the job, like an Arizona federal judge?

Other than being a conflict of interest, that little story really has nothing to do with what I wanted to write about when I started this post, which is, um, birth... philosophy? I don't know what to call it. Drugs or no drugs.

Given my career and my academic training, I am generally all in favor of modern medicine. When this all started, I was like, "Epidural? Who wants pain? Bring it on." Fetal monitors make sure things are okay, pitocin make things move faster, sure why not? The one thing I have always been leery of is having a c-section, mostly because the recovery period would make taking care of a newborn more challenging.

Then a co-worker recommended a book called Your Best Birth, by Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein. These authors also produced a documentary a few years ago called The Business of Being Born, which I have not seen, but I have heard was pretty controversial. I also remembered a post that my friend Kim wrote on the subject, and so I went in to the reading of the book cautiously, sort of expecting to be confronted with brainwashing, yet arming myself against it. Kind of like when Bill turns on FoxNews.

Only... it sort of worked on me. The book is very pro-natural-birth, pro-home-birth, pro-midwife, pro-doula, and it posits that if you have your baby in a hospital you are going to be dealing with nurses who won't listen and you'll end up on your back and having a c-section whether you need one or not. Seriously, it uses very emotional writing to make you feel pretty s***ty about wanting to have your baby in a hospital.

So I didn't drink ALL of the Kool-Aid. I am still firmly planning on giving birth in a hospital. I don't think I would ever want to give birth at home (mostly because of the yuck factor), but it definitely made a convincing case for using a midwife then delivering at a birth center. (Maybe next time.) But this book. It really has me freaked about any sort of hospital intervention, like any little thing (e.g. artificially breaking the bag of waters to "move things along") is going to lead to a cascade of other things that will ultimately lead to a c-section. Which I really don't want, but now I don't want it for a host of OTHER reasons BESIDES the recovery time.

I want this little guy to have the best entry into the world that I can give him. I keep reading (other places besides this book) about two things specifically, and both would be unavailable to me/us if I had a c-section. The first is the skin-on-skin thing, plus attempting to breastfeed immediately following delivery. My hospital is very pro-skin-on-skin, but not if you have a c-section. If you have a c-section, they're stitching you up during that time, and you need to lie still, so no baby bonding for at least an hour. The second is the thing about how a vaginal birth is less traumatic for the baby because it's like one big massage. I'm simplifying, but it has something to do with hormones and blah blah, and the baby doesn't get that benefit if he's delivered via c-section. I'm sure there are other reasons; I just keep coming back to these two.

So, in the interest of best birth for my baby, I'm having anxiety about being pushed into interventions I don't want. I'd like to say I don't have much problem being confrontational, but I also like strangers to like me, and there have been occasions where I've been polite rather than pushing for what I want. Especially in situations like this. Because who knows more - the know-it-all who read ONE book about the subject? Or the L&D nurse who has been doing this for 30 years? Who am I to say what's going to help my natural labor along vs. land me in the OR?

So right now, my plan (in my head) is for a drug-free birth in a hospital.

On the flip side, after reading this book, I then TIVO'd an episode of A Baby Story on TLC (yeah they still have that show). In this episode, the mom is also going for a natural birth in a hospital, in one of those birthing tubs. (They don't have those at my hospital.) And she COMPLETELY LOSES HER SH*T. I mean, evennnntually she does it, but wow. I do not know if I have the mental constitution to hold up against that. And I don't want to be so out of it that I can't help things along.

And then there was the comment from my doctor a few weeks ago about how I'm going to have a big baby. That sort of floats above my head. Is it going to cause the doctor to want to induce early (which, according to Your Best Birth, will pretty much guarantee I get a c-section since "the baby's not naturally ready yet")? Or if I do go in to labor naturally, am I going to feel pressured to cave to a c-section if the labor doesn't go smoothly ("He's too big to fit through" is another "lie" that hospitals tell mothers that land them with c-sections... according to the book)?

In short, I'm interested in not having a c-section. But I'm also interested in not having so much pain that I'm not mentally present. And I'm also interested in giving this baby his best possible entrance to the world. And I'm also interested in trusting medical professionals who know more than me. And I'm also interested in not having to fight the VBAC fight for future births.

Sigh. I'm conflicted. I need to go back to reading books with pictures of shoes on their pink covers.

In the meantime, here's a picture of the belly at 32 weeks and 1 day. I hate my new haircut - that's why it's under the hat. It looks like Carol Brady, the mullet years.

Some January Pictures

Haven't posted in a while. I've been very absorbed by my writing lately, and I've preferred to spend my few spare moments hanging out with the wife and fetus (as opposed to blogging about the wife and fetus).

But here are some pictures of the goings on these last couple weeks. Here are Carin and I two weeks ago (She is 30 weeks pregnant in this picture).

It is citrus season, and we are loving our oranges and tangerines these days.

Coming right on the heels of our previous series of cat and pregnant wife photos, here are a couple shots of a 31-week pregnant Carin doing yoga with her pal Scottie.

More Information Than You Require

Warning: You may end up finding out more than you want to know if you continue reading.

So, there is a special kind of pain reserved for when you get a hemorrhoid cut off of your bum, and then the local wears off. Especially when the strongest thing you feel comfortable taking for said pain is Extra-Strength Tylenol.

(Yeah, that happened today.)

I'm not going to go any further into the details, but in the interest of self-mockery and humor, I wanted to share two things that the very distinguished surgeon -- who has been practicing many many years -- said during the very short time I was in his office today:

1. [Upon first examination of said 'roid:] "Well that is bigger and badder than most I've seen."
2. [While removing it:] "I've taken out appendices smaller than this!"

People, let this be a lesson for all of us. More prunes. Stat.

Pillows: Real and Imagined

I've been having some positional challenges while I sleep. For reasons I won't go into, my doctor advised me that whenever I am lying down, I should lie on my left side. When I do this, I need my back supported so that I don't roll onto my back in the middle of the night. This has led to a king-size-pillow barrier between me and Bill. Love you honey! I'll wave to you from way over here.

I also having been using a regular-size pillow to sort of do a combination support-the-belly plus between-the-knees thing. Not surprisingly, when I wake up, the pillows are nowhere near where I put them when I fell asleep. And it's hard, when you wake up in the middle of the night, to readjust all those pillows. In the dark. Half-asleep.

So I finally got a Snoogle yesterday. It's a pillow that's sewn into a pre-formed shape somewhere between a "C" and a "J" and you can hypothetically shape it many different ways. Behold (click to see the details):

Very promising when I went to sleep last night, because having that c-shape between your knees basically should prevents the long back support from shifting away from you. Theoretically.

Some time during the early morning, I woke up in a bit of discomfort from the neck portion. Did I also mention I have a pre-existing neck issue (herniated cervical disc - maybe C5 or C6? I forget which) that can be aggravated by side sleeping? Awesome. (In terms of pain management, I just wrapped up a month of PT, so at the moment I can once again turn my head. So I'm sticking with the side sleeping for now.) The snoogle is... not so great for my neck. The nice firm support for the back ends up being a bit firm for my head, and was sort of craning my head up a little too much. So I pushed the neck portion aside and pulled up the normal soft pillow I had tossed on the floor before falling asleep the night before.

But then the back portion was pushed away too. And somewhere in there, it came out from in between my knees? Anyway, I was having issues.

So in between snoozes on my alarm clock this morning, I have a dream. I dream that I have given birth to the baby, and isn't she (in the dream it's a she) adorable and just the sweetest thing, especially all bundled up and swaddled. She's soooo cozy and snuggle-able. So I'm snuggling with her, and maybe I start to snooze a little (in the dream), and I wake up a little bit later, quite well rested, and I can't find her. I'm searching through the sheets and comforter since it's all very fluffy, and a small bundle could be easily covered up and we wouldn't see her, but for all the fluff of the comforter (much the way our cat totally hides under the comforter and we don't even realize). So I finally find her... and I have used her as my pillow. And yes she has died because I have accidentally smooshed her to death from SLEEPING ON HER, but she sure was a comfortable pillow.

Horrifying.

Week 28 - An Ultrasoundin' We Will Go!

As Carin described in her previous post, while in New Jersey, we visited Carin's sister, the famed ultrasound tech, and spent a long time looking at our little guy.

We came home with a whole batch of cool ultrasound pictures. Here are a few, starting with the now infamous shot of our little guy (let's call him OLG for short) giving us the finger:


That whippersnapper! So irreverent! And now, he gives us the feet ...


Now to the best pictures of the bunch, the profile shots!


The picture above might be my favorite on account of how adorable OLG is. Also, the more I look at it, the more I say, "Wow! He totally looks like me! No--Wait! He totally looks like Carin!" Look at the lips, the chin, the under-nose! Am I crazy or is there actually something there? I know. I'm probably crazy.

The picture below features OLG sucking his thumb:


Nuclear powered cuteness, don't you think?

Don't believe he's sucking his thumb? I've added my artistic interpretation below:


Now, not every picture is so darn cute. The straight on shots of his face were--to be charitable--not all too flattering. The less charitable way to describe them would be ... um ... slightly demonic. But try photographing a flat cross section of your face and see how spiffy you look! Here's one of the prettier scary ones:


And now, let's end this picture session with the classic "baby kicking himself in the head" shot. Not sure if this is reflective of his mother's occasional clumsiness or his father's penchant for stretching. Perhaps, it's a bit of both.


I've added my illustrations below to help illuminate what I think is going on here. I've declined to add a thought bubble because I think it's best for each viewer to imagine what OLG is thinking for him or herself. I did, however, in the interest of imbuing our unborn son with super powers, add a cape. Enjoy.

Photographic Dispatches from the Grand East-Coast-wide RUB-THE-BELLY Tour

Yes, the belly was rubbed. The East Coast was toured. Chinese food was eaten for Christmas.

And good times were had with family and friends.

We started our vacation in Sarasota, Florida ...


where we hung out with my family, eating food ...


... and taking pictures of each other ...


... on the beach ...


... even though it was a little cold.


Then it was off to New Jersey we flew.

Here we got to hang out with Carin's family ...



... and build snow penguins.


We even met up with Carin's old high school pals.

They threw her a little surprise baby shower ...


... which made her very happy.


Here she is with fellow pregnant girlfriend, Danielle. See the matching baby bumps:


We also went to New York, where we saw friends and had a fun family get-together in my sister's apartment ...


... which provided one very proud great-grandmother-to-be with the opportunity to feel some kicks.


This is my favorite picture of the trip.

Definitely our kid

All my ultrasounds so far have been very clinical. Here's the neck fold, here's the length of the femur, yes the organs are forming correctly, and oh it's a boy. Interesting, but just-the-facts-ma'am only (since my doctor does the scanning himself). Plus, I have to watch the scans through a handheld mirror since the doctor doesn't even turn the screen in my direction. It's like trying to look at the hair on the back of your head. I like my doctor, and I would recommend him to others without reservation, but this sort of ultrasound experience is less than touching.

Fortunately for me, my sister is an ultrasound tech! Unfortunately for me, she lives 3000 miles away. So Bill and I scheduled our final unencumbered trip to the east coast right at the 6-month mark to hang with our families and swing by my sister's place of employment. She spent a good long time (45+ min) scanning for nothing in particular, just poking around, sometimes just hanging out with the wand waiting for the baby to move so we could see it on the monitor. A couple measurements for due diligence told us that he's presently 2 lbs, 13 oz, which is in the 53rd percentile for size.

Here are three ways we know the baby is definitely ours:

1. He gave us the finger.
2. He played with his penis.
3. He kicked himself in the head.

Pictures to follow.

Mellow Yellow Carin at 25 weeks

Here's a picture of Carin from our walk in Balboa Park last weekend. Quite rightly.

In fetal news, I can now not only feel our little guy's kicks by putting my hand on Carin's belly--I can visibly see them too. It's still a very subtle thing, and you have to be watching for it. That said, we've had a couple belly watching sessions this weekend when our guy was particularly active, and I saw a couple kicks. Cool stuff.

I'm very excited to get to share my wife and her Magical Belly of Wonder with family and friends over the holidays.

*Edited (by Carin) to add: By the way, this picture was taken December 11 in Los Angeles. And it was over 80 degrees. Before you get jealous, it is in the 50s and raining today (Saturday) and for the next four days.

What our cat thinks about my wife's pregnancy

Everybody has at least one thing they are good at. Our cat, Scottie, is really good at looking skeptical and generally unimpressed with whatever is going on (see picture above). Whether a crying baby will be enough to generate enthusiasm from her remains to be seen. We predict some initial fear and then lots more skepticism. I personally predict our son will wind up being her frenemy, particularly as he gets to cat chasing, tail grabbing age. We look forward to watching their relationship evolve over the next few years. As for now, as for our son's 26 week fetal state, Scottie is, frankly, unimpressed.

***ADDENDUM***

Since posting earlier today, I managed to take a couple great cat and belly pictures. I think they are a nice counterpoint to the post and photo above.

Here is our cat looking very comfortable next to Carin's belly ...

Slightly less comfortable but generally hilarious ...

EXTREMELY comfortable ...

Everybody say it together now: "Aww!"

Downside/Upside

When I took off my socks last night, I noticed a weird sock-indentation that would imply that the swelling has begun. Kind of like the top of the sock was a mild tourniquet. It's definitely not at the pitting phase, and to the untrained eye, it's hardly noticeable, since I started out with verrrry dainty ankles. They are still dainty, but I think I notice a difference. TBD.

On the upside, maybe my feet will swell so much that I will need larger shoes. I really have been loving those boots that everyone is wearing this season that look like a cross between riding boots and CHP motorcycle cop boots. For example, these:

Preeeeetty. We have been on budget lockdown, and it's somewhat hasty to buy shoes mid-pregnancy when you might outgrow them in a couple of months. But, hey, a girl can't walk around barefoot, right?

Pregnancy milestones I could do without

Recent developments:

• Heartburn that won't quit even after 4 ultra tums (1g each)
• Intermittent back pain
• Constant neck pain
• Sleeplessness (more so due to the neck pain than the pregnancy, but not helped by not being able to sleep on my back)
• Wedding and engagement rings are too tight.

And one I don't mind so much, though I reserve the right to change my mind in later weeks: all the kicking. :)

Week 25 update and pictures

So earlier this week, I ended up getting this red peacoat that I mentioned earlier, because I love red, and every time I wear my Old Navy red trenchcoat in public, I get compliments from strangers. Who doesn't love compliments from strangers?

And then it ended being 80 degrees here this weekend. Listen, I'm not complaining. I'm just saying - it's 80 degrees here this weekend. Hah! It's December 11! Los Angeles is awesome. (Sometimes.)

And here are a few belly pics for interested parties. (Remember: click to embiggen.)

At 21 weeks, 2 days:

At 24 weeks, 4 days:

p.s. Check out our orange tree! They're finally ripe. And delicious. That branch is hanging so heavy and low that it gets in the way of that little walkway I'm standing on (which leads to our office). It's a shame to cut it off when it's bearing so much delicious fruit. So we leave it and then just walk around it (or into it if we're not paying attention.) The tangerines (separate tree) are turning orange and will be ready soon too. Probably in early January.